craigslist "casual encounter" listing (chicago)
Dearest Fat bitch upstairs,
It has been a few weeks since our last correspondence, and we still have some unresolved issues. First off you are still waking me up way too early on weekend mornings and forcing me to watch shitty television (this morning I am watching MTV’s Date My Mom) and do laundry. I am actually sort of great full for the opportunity to monopolize the laundry room because as you know I have a phobia of your massive XXXL thongs mixing in with my things. But I am still really fucked off that I come home wasted last night and you have me up with you at 8:30 am as you bang, clang and jump up and down or do what ever it is that huge hose beasts do.
As much as I hate your guts, (they are fucking huge so there is a lot to hate) I have a favor to ask. It is not so much a favor because I believe that you owe it to me for making miserable for the last month. By the way, Bon Jovi “living on a prayer” is not acceptable at 9 am on a Saturday morning. Ah so back to my favor. Your real ugly roommate has moved out, or you ate her. It really doesn’t matter, the important thing is that she is gone and a mildly attractive young lady has moved in (don’t eat her). I very much like it if you would someday bring your mildly attractive roommate down to my apartment, and introduce us. After you make the introduction, you can get lost, jump off the sears tower or go to the all you can eat breakfast buffet out in the burbs, just make yourself scarce because fireworks are about to go off.
Thanks fat bitch upstairs, suck slightly less. Please announce your intention of fulfilling this favor by jumping up and down 6 times, then wait 20 minutes so that I have time to shower and shave, before delivering your roommate as sacrifice for your sins.
Should you choose not to do this, I hope you roast in hell like a plum Christmas goose.
Temporarily yours (one of our leases has to end soon)
One Charming Hungover Bastard
this is in or around chicago
no -- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
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r players and incoming recruits to tell them Florida will find the best possible coach for the university.Donovan's father, Bill Sr., a fixture at nearly every Gators game -- he splits time in his native Long Island, N.Y. and Gainesville -- said, "I can't te.Aliexpressite ell you how excruciating this was for him. He went back and forth for so long on it. But the recruiting really takes a toll on a coach and hopefully he can spend more time with his family now."Don.ite soccer ovan Sr. said he expects his son's family to stay in Gainesville for the short term as Billy commutes to Orlando; his eldest son is in the midst of playing high school basketball.Donovan at a glanceB.ite soccer store rn: May 30, 1965, Rockville Centre, N.Y.Coaching experience: 13 yearsCollege: ProvidenceLegacy: Donovan led Florida to a school-record nine straight NCAA Tournament berths and the last two national titles. He's 296-123 overall as a college coach with a 22-7 tournament mark.Year Team Record NCAA Tournament finish2006-07 Florida 35-5 Champions2005-06 Florida 33-6 Champio
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